You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
