yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
