True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
