I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
