just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
