he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
