Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
