Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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