dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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