I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
