You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
