how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
