I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
