covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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