I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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