Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
