The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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