The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
