Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
