I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
