Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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