the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just high enough for therapy.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
