I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
