Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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