Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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