So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just gargled with NyQuil
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
