There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
