I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
soo... how was my night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
