She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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