My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we made out on top of his cat.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
