so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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