his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
