Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
