whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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