He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
