I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he high fived his dick after we had sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
