If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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