I'm really into asian looking animals
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
