Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
