yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
