I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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