Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
