fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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