their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's JV to your varsity
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
