Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
