Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
