So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
