i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
