He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
