I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His nipple licking is glorious
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